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I play guitar, that's it.

Ryan Chown @CHOWN

26, Male



Joined on 9/20/07

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PART 1: Once upon a time, there was a fat jewish boy named Princess. He lived in a walmart bag. One day he went into wallmart to get another bag for winter, and he stopped by the ladies underwear section. And he realized that his rather plumpy body parts would fit presicely inside of a bra. So Princess ran around with the biggest possible bra on to hold up his tremendous titties. From that day forward, Princess was a happy man.

PART 2: One rather disgusting afternoon, Princess got out of his house to go for a walk in the rain. As he was walking down the road, he saw that someone in a transport truck was following him. He turned around, and looked at the truck, and it seemed to be getting closer and closer. Once the truck caught up to him, the truck driver stepped out of the truck, and started following him on foot. He grabbed Princess by the arm and dragged him to his truck. He took him to the passenger side, and he tried to stuff this massive jew into the seat, but he noticed that he couldnt fit through the door. So they went around to the back of the truck, opened the back door of the truck, and Princess saw that this truck was full of a shitload of icecream, which just happened to be the reason why he is such a massive individual. So Princess clearly couldnt get into the back of the truck by himself, and he was too fucking heavy for someone to lift him, so the truck driver put Princess on a forklift, and attempted to lift him into the truck. The forklift snapped. They both noticed that the ice cream was starting to melt. So since the truck driver was a nice man, he gave all of the ice cream to Princess. Princess was so surprised that he would do this for him, so he gave him all that he could; his bag. The truck driver noticed that the bag was his home, so he helped Princess build a fortress made of ice cream on the side of the road. Princess and him made the biggest castle they possibly could. Princess was so thankful for this, that he started to cry. The truck driver drove away with an empty truck, and Princess sat inside his ice cream palace. And to this very day, Princess can be found on the side of the QEW inside his palace.

PART 3: On one fine evening, it was snowing at the Wal-Mart where Princess lived. He couldnt help but notice that the ice cream his fortress was made of was being frozen, and he started to panache. He tried to step out of his fort, but a layer of chocolate turtles had been formed where his magical drawbridge had been. This was a serious problem. Seeing as there was no roof on his palace, The snow piled up inside it foot by foot. Eventually, Princess was surrounded by an enormous pile of frozen ice cream and slightly yellow snow (because all he eats is snow, and all that water has to go somewhere), this began to arouse the concern of some nearby spectators. They all decided to attack Princess, and eat all his ice cream. So now Princess was sitting on top of a giant pile of yellow snow, with no ice cream. He was so fucking fat, he could not get down.

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